At a given time we are always in multiple relationships. Either it’s a role of a mother, father, son, daughter, friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, mother-in-law, father-in-law, grandmother, grandfather, uncle, aunt or cousin. Every relationship has its own premise, which changes, and must change, with time. However, it is the in-adaptability to change that creates clashes amongst people engaged in a relationship. It is at this juncture that dealing with depression in relationships becomes an inevitable need, so that essence of the relationship is never lost. Reviving the old charm in the relationship may take some time. Nonetheless, it can be achieved by taking positive steps and giving up myopic mindset and ego.
Most of us sweep the litter of depression under the carpet. We believe depression will vanish if it’s hidden. So, we put in our best to hide our depression. Wrong! The more we try to hide it, the more it is going to show. Depression in a relationship is a result of clutter between the loved ones. Your loved ones know you the best. They know the way you act when you are depressed and your reluctance to show it. Thus, the first step towards coping with depression in relationships is to accept it.
Once you have spotted and accepted the depression in the relationship, it’s time you show it to the other person. Point it out to your partner in small ways. We exhibit our depressed side by showing our discomfort and negative take on everything. However this must be done through peaceful communication and you must not nitpick on each other.
It is important to cleanse all your negative thoughts. Oftentimes, parents lose hope in their children, children begin to rebel because their parents don’t understand them, spouses indulge in infidelity causing the bond of marriage to dwindle, and finally all these things takes a toll on the institution of a family. To change this picture you have to begin with small changes. Every line you speak to your family member, irrespective of your relation with them, construct it positively. Remove all the instances of negation. For example, ‘I believe you will be able to do it’ instead of ‘this is not your cup of time’, ‘I will so this later’ instead of ‘not now’, ‘I will get late for office. So, please help me’ instead of ‘I won’t reach on time’. Saying positive things, will reflect positive actions too. And, trust me this is no secret!
Sharing is Caring
Hiding your feelings will get you deeper in depression. So share all your thoughts with your partner, to let him/her know what is it that you are exactly feeling. Your state of depression also affects the other person knowingly or unknowingly. Sharing every deepest fear, anxiety and despair will get you closer, make the bond stronger, and eventually rescue you from the abyss of depression.
Encourage and Motivate
Once the things are clear between each other, the gap of miscommunication and lack of communication will be bridged. This will be a huge motivating factor to pull yourself out from depression in relationships. Self-motivation and encouragement, like pushing yourself to work a little more will get desired rewards. Every time you want to stop and get back into your shell, remind yourself that there is someone waiting for you. This will make every step easy for you.
Finally, when it comes to dealing with depression in relationships and managing relationships, it’s time to take a stand for yourself. Remember, you are the center of your universe. Your present life, is the manifestation of your previous thoughts. Hence, make all your thoughts about life and living positive. Change is the only constant factor of life. The parameters of a relationship are constantly changing. As William Shakespeare said, All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts’; the same is true in our cases. We have to know, what role are we playing and do our best to deliver justice to it. Building healthy relationships is just about accepting the change before it comes, so that you are well-prepared for it.